“Marriage is not a love affair; its an ordeal. If you think of it as that, you will be able to go through with it. The ordeal consists specifically in sacrificing ego to the relationship.”
— Joseph Campbell
The Couple-to-Couple Program is an intense, but loving 2-day transformational experience with 20 hours of private relationship training and coaching with Drs. Melvin and Sherrie. Relationships are not easy, no two people are the same and it takes a constant reshaping of one’s judgments, beliefs, and expectations to weather the relationship journey. It takes more than love to create, and sustain a consciously loving relationship.
All couples need to be flexible, self-expressed, responsible and capable of requesting behavioral changes, while setting healthy boundaries. All relationships require work. Yours is no exception.
We specialize in assisting and training you in how to be masterful with relationship skills. Acquiring and mastering a wide array of relationship skills and tools will increase your ability to communicate, strengthen intimacy, improve sex, clear the road towards financial freedom, and decrease conflicts.
We start with the fundamentals of personality types as expressed in the Myers Briggs Typology Instrument.
Learn More about Myers Briggs | Take a Myers Briggs Short Test
How would you describe your relationship?
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Vitalized Couples have satisfying relationship and have proficiency in communicating and resolving conflict. The goal for these couples is to embrace what works, remain relationship vigilant, and seek opportunities for continued growth and development.
Harmonious Couples enjoy high levels of satisfaction in most areas in life. The goal for these couples is to get mastery and proficiency in a variety of areas. Possible areas of focus are communication skills, goal setting, intimacy building, financial management, and sexual expression.
Conventional Couples are highly committed, but lack proficiency in communication and conflict resolution. The goal of these couples is to embrace and build on what is working in the relationship. Develop a relationship plan and vision for the relationship. Seek relationship help in improving communication and conflict resolution skills. Schedule quarterly or semi-annual relationship tune-up retreats each year.
Conflicted Couples have low levels of satisfaction and struggle in many areas in the relationship. The goal for these couples is to find assistance in discovering areas of conflict, learn and acquire effective communications skills, and design a workable relationship plan for success.
Devitalized Couples have the lowest levels of satisfaction and struggle in almost every area of their relationship. The goal for these couples is to acquire help learning skills in all the areas that are stressful, frustrating and energy draining. Areas that are usually stressful and out of balance are: finances, sex, communication, family and children, conflict resolution, and role responsibilities.
Engaged or Newlywed Couples have the blessing of beginning a relationship journey with skills and tools. No one taught us how to have successful relationships in school. We didn’t receive trouble shooting guides or instruction manuals for ourselves or our partners; we need to learn to be curious as we traverse the new terrain. New couples need to learn, master, and use these skills as a way of life before starting the long relationship journey.
Communication and conflict resolution skills can be learned, but commitment to your relationship and love for your partner are prerequisites for the journey to transformation. Relationships are a journey and a process. They require tending to like your house, automobile, and physical health. All relationships start out fabulous, but the road to success or bliss is full of potholes and speed bumps. Knowing you will encounter these often uncomfortable developments and understanding why can help strengthen both resolve and ability to remain connected, loving, and in love.
The Allen Method
Almost every couple that calls us, whether acting preemptively or on the brink of divorce, has transformed their relationship and strengthened their love for the relationship and for each other.
This method involves a gentle probing and inquiring into the unconscious to assist our clients in discovering their relationship blind spots. It is an in-depth psychological perspective that blends 30 years of ontological work, six degrees in psychology, creating and facilitating hundreds of classes for singles and couples, years of coaching and leadership training, and a tremendous amount of love and compassion.
Couple-to-couple Coaching Intensive is a 20-hour relationship training journey that primarily takes place on Saturday and Sunday from 9am-7pm. Weekday appointments are also available. Traditional therapy can take too long, some men become frustrated, and most people want quick results. Why the long days? Some relationship issues take hours to resolve, no one leaves with unresolved issues.
Applying The Allen Method
Couple-to-Couple Coaching is also done by phone or video conference call. Coaching can be done in blocks of time from 90-180 minutes. All coaching calls include Drs. Melvin and Sherrie Allen. Blocks of time are prepaid and can be scheduled on a weekly, monthly, or as needed bases.
One-on-One Coaching involves coaching one on one with Drs. Melvin or Sherrie, usually by phone. Terms and arrangements are done on a client-to-client base; details can be obtained by contacting us at 310-248-2733.
Before the Intensive
We conduct a free coaching interview with each partner to ascertain if we feel we can assist you or we will recommend the traditional method of therapy.
We assess your relationship with an on line 220-question relationship assessment by Prepare-Enrich. Over 3 million couples from around the world have taken this relationship assessment program since it 1980. It is the most respected and highly used relationship assessment tool in the industry.
Relationship Assessment Areas:
Roles and responsibilities
Partner style and habits
Family and friends
Cultural and ethical issues and more
The assessment includes a workbook with over 20 foundational exercises.
Tools, Skills, and Exercises that may used during your intensive
Intense Imago Communication Training
How to listen, understand, validate, and empathize with your partner
Identify strengths and growth areas in your relationship
Learn conflict resolution skills
Identify relationship issues
Develop a financial plan and budget
Explore family-of-origin issues and family patterns
Develop personal and relationship goals
Communication enhancement skills
Identify roles and responsibilities
Learn your unrealistic expectations in your marriage
Identify spiritual beliefs and challenges
Learn how to communicate about sex
Tools and exercises to help improve communication
Learn How to:
Communicate authentically with your partner
Discover your relationship blind spots
Share emotional intimacy
Improve your sex life
Ask for what you want
Communicate and be heard
Receive and provide validation
Hear with empathy
Request a behavioral change
The Relationship Journey Every Couple Takes
Where are you on your journey?
Where are you on your journey?
Four Stages of the Relationship Journey
Mature Love or Bliss
You will learn what the task and focus is for each stage and how to navigate each.
This tool alone has been known to offer peace of mind to couples in distress knowing that this is only a temporary phase that can be successfully navigated with skills and tools.
Discover How to Communicate Using Your Partner’s Love Language!
The Five Love Languages:
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Gift Giving Receiving
This exercise will help you design a user’s guide for your partner. Each person has a his or her own unique love language and only resonates with that love language. Your partner will learn how you uniquely need to be loved. Most couples are unaware of what their partner’s love language is and often miss each other’s offerings of love.
Learn exercises that will have your relationship explode! (In a good way!)
Learn how to:
Turn towards each other instead of away
Allow your partner to influence you
Solve unsolvable problems
Go from anger to creating a relationship vision
Recognize signs of defensiveness
Acknowledge common defensiveness that camouflages feelings
Speak with non-defensive language
Shift from criticism and complaints to making requests
After the Intensive, phone support for conflicted and devitalized couples is available in person or by phone/video conference.
To register, or for personal assistance contact:
Melvin or Sherrie at 310-248-2733
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